Beep beep boop boop KABOOM(okay seriously I've no idea what to put)

Things do not go really well lately and always go awry. That is why I am now deprived of confidence and the lack of confidence would lead me to be clobbered by the negative notions. Some of the causes are:

1) Received no reply from PTS publication (Islamic book publication)

I’ve sent my proposal before my final exam but up till now I didn’t receive any news. Yes, I am looking forward to writing a book which related to Islamic motivational books(I heard there are many UIA students who got their books published) and I have sent my proposal in Bahasa Malaysia(must be in BM) but well like I said, no reply. Okay, my writing in Bahasa Malaysia may sound a bit peculiar (not saying my English is better as it is weirder and atrociously appalling especially during exam). My Arabic classmate who happens to be a PTS writer urged me to send it again but I don’t have the nerve because my confidence has dissipated and left a mark of disappointment on my vulnerable heart. At least inform me about the rejection.

2) Got called a religion nuts by some secularists nuts and got badly condemned by them.

Okay, it is my fault too as I should have done my research first before being a brazen fool commenting about the Darwin’s theory thingy in theTimesonline.co.uk website. The article is about the rejection of the Islamic scholars towards Darwin’s theory. Well, many of them (I assume almost all of them are secularists) spurned and reprimanded the Islamic scholars' behaviour for rejecting it. Feeling ragingly mad, I brilliantly and audaciously criticized the theory without taking a heed that I may have debated with the Cambridge or Oxford professors or something. Okay, seriously when I read their comments I felt like I was reading a thesis. Well a great lesson for me: Do your research first or else you would be an arrant fool in the comment section.

3)Could not provide a lucid and patent proof for my statement.

Arrggh..I wish I have the talent to speak eloquently. I tend to falter and get easily flustered when I talk even in my own dialect. With this kind of disposition, how could I grasp my dream? My confidence tank has been dried up by the negative outcome from my past experiences. I wish I could steal from others.

4) Ballooning up. Up , up and away.

I have a hankering for food. Especially fats-laden type. Yes, I like to eat when I’m happy and when I am sad and when I’m stressed and when I am ...um...okay, no wonder I am ballooning up. Plus, with the hibernating activity, the fats are growing swiftly. And what irked me the most is when the people are gleefully commented about my weight-gained as if they had won a grand prize lottery ticket. No, I’m not being facetious or something. I’m spluttering out the truth. They would jovially announce to the world about your weight-gained.

5)Watching Bohsia movie is really depressing.

No, really. It made me feel more depressed.

Luckily, I have iman otherwise I might bang my head against the wall to death after watching the movie. The storyline may be a bit scattered especially the ending. It also does not have a synchronous ending. Well this may not be related with the confidence loss but it has incited the great stress inside me. If you’re on the brink of distress, don’t watch the movie otherwise you might run amok.

6) Posted a wrong post in the wrong category. I’ve joined this website called “The Experience Project” at http://www.experienceproject.com/.

It is a magnificent website. Yes. Magnificent. Well for me of course. We can share our ample experiences and you could even confess anything including your deepest secret anonymously about having an intense sincere feeling of how much really care and concern about the person whom you should not suppose to (as you know you would never get that person) while ignoring the little voice of yours piped out “ARE YOU CRAZY?” in your mind as you know your feeling is genuinely sincere and immaculate.

And you always pray for his happiness and plead with God wholeheartedly to protect that person from any pain as he has suffered enough and you know you would never have the chance to protect that person or even make him happy or even said that he doesn’t have to change a thing as you would accept him as he is and you could only depend on God solely and... uh okay enough with the confession examples. I guess I’ve given more than enough.

Just imagine you wanted to express genuinely pure feeling but it turned out to appear in the sex confession category even if you have chosen the love category.

I could feel a large pile of embarrassment slapping my face. Oh great. People would think I’m a psycho.

Well let’s think positive. As long as it is immaculate and sincere, nah who cares. Okay honestly I freaked out a little. No, frantically. Who wouldn’t? Okay, forget about that.

By the way this year has been a death year. I heard so many death news circulated around me. And I even lost someone whom I truly love, my grandma. We never know when would be our turn. Therefore, please appreciate people around you and don’t hesitate to express your concern, care and love towards someone who you really love and important to you.

I guess that’s all for today. Assalamualaikum and take care.

At last..the sweet freedom..

*Do the monkey dance*

Well you know what that means right? It depicts the end of final exam. At last! The freedom! Oh, the freedom—the sweet like chocolate Indulgence cake kind of freedom.

Syukuralhamdulillah. It ends at last! I do not know why I could not see eye to eye with exams as I would slump into the arrant carelessness (the crass ones especially). Sykuralhamdullilah, I manage to restrain myself from running amok in the exam hall when I did a ludicrously silly mistake.

By the way, I’m back in my beloved hometown, Miri Sarawak. The place that I utterly love nonetheless. Now I could slouch all day long while breathing the air of freedom. Well for now. But the most important thing is I could savour my eyes with novels. By the way, I’m thinking about writing a short story. I did write countless of them but all them are left unfinished.

Well, a piece of advice for you, if you want to write a story, don’t read too much books. A writer who I couldn’t remember his name said that by the way. Well perhaps reading ample books during the writing process could lead to the jumbled ideas in the plot.

Readers could be muddled reading our stories. And some of them might even die. Yes. Die. Just imagine if that person has a heart attack and he or she was irate and peeved by the failure of comprehending our story. Then, the unconquerable seething annoyance and wrath would provoke the heart attack to attack. Get it? Okay, ignore my exaggeration. This is the “aftermath” of exam. My mind is a bit peculiar and tends to emit illogically surrealistic ideas.

Examples? I’m starting to blather incoherently and also there’s a voice urging me to do the monkey dance in front of Azman Hashim Complex (somewhere in my university). I don’t know why I’m fond of doing the monkey dance. Well, probably because the monkeys are everywhere at my hostel and the influence is inevitable.

Okay, speaking of monkeys, they remind me of Darwin's theory—the evolution. Seriously. We evolve from a monkey? If we were evolved from a monkey, how did they exist? And how did the rest of the creatures exist as well? It does not make any sense at all because everything which has existed must have a creator.

For example if we created robots and then we cloistered them away in some places where there are no humans' presence, they would think that they are evolved from the evolution—perhaps from a rusty old car’s metal or something.

God has given us a lot of signs. An obvious sign! But noo..humans tend to slump into hedonism believing that we must indulge into our own pleasures. Many of them even questioned about His existence.

Okay, why don’t you open your eyes and look at yourself. Look deeply. No, not complaining about your weight gain or the juicy pimples but just look at yourselves. Then, go ahead peer at others especially who are different from you.

Yes. We have different and diverse attributes, appearance and the like. It does not make any sense if we naturally develop just like that without having a creator to govern us. There must be a creator who has designed us to be like this. As in the Quran, Allah s.w.t has stated:

"O mankind! We created you from a single (pair of a) male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, so that you may know each other. Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (one who is) the most righteous of you…" (Al-Hujurat 49:13)

See. That is the reason why humans do not possess the same attributes so we could know each other well and not to invoke hatred or imprint any negative thought in our mind about other races. It is ridiculous to think that there is a particular race which is more superior than others. We are the SAME species.



Remember, we are the same. We are human. Not monkeys. We could think rationally and sensibly. We have the savvy. We are God’s creation as well as the monkeys and the rest of creations. If you read the translation of Al-Quran, you would see He has explained everything lucidly and the explanation does not collide at all with science.

For example, human’s existence. Allah s.w.t has explained about the creation of human and the process is exactly the same with the research that was conducted by the scientists. How did Prophet Muhammad s.a.w know all that? It would be illogical to say that it is a lucky guess as all the processes are accurately illustrated. By the way, the advance technology was not even yet invented during that time. How could he possibly know?Unless he was given the guidance and inspirations. Of course, Allah s.w.t had divulged the revelation to Prophet Muhammad s.a.w.

Moreover, there are lots of things which have been clearly and accurately explained. Before any of you have a negative perception about Islam, why don’t you delve into Islam especially Al-Quran and read more about Islam. But be careful. Not just simply “google” it up as you might go to the wrong websites which spread the fallacy about Islam. Go to this website http://www.godallah.com



It has provided lucid and clear-cut information about Islam. By the way, religion and science SHOULD NOT be separated as without any of them to complement each other, confusion and doubt would arise.That is all from. Assalamualaikum.

One more to go..

*Take a deep breath* Okay, one more. Whatever you do Me, please don’t ever let the deranged mind to control your body movement otherwise you would end up gyrating nonsensically in the exam hall. Ah, exams. Never fail to ooze out the unflagging insanity which has resulted me to fluster every time when I flip up the exam paper. I wish I could diminish the hatred towards exams but it’s hard to force yourself to fall in love with something which you vehemently detest. I know I have to plant the seed of love in my garden (heart) in order to grasp the scroll of success.

By the way, if you see the word “garden” in my poems it refers to the heart. I’m afraid that you would digest the message wrongly. Okay, let’s get back to the topic before I digress far away to the infinite sky. About...um. Where was I? Ah, exams. See! It also has caused amnesia to prevail.

I don’t know why I fond of misinterpreting the questions which consequently would lead me to the loss of marks. I know I am a daft—a downright crass. Alright Me. Stop with the negative notions. As my friend Ajie bushuk said, “Don’t say negative things during exams.” Alright, Me. Let’s be positive!

Let’s start by singing to muster up the irrevocable confidence. “I believe I can fly.I believe I can touch the sky...but this feeling is just a lie...because of my stupidity I would indeed fall and die...”

Oh great. Did I just sing with that lyric? No wonder I always lose my marbles and digest the questions wrongly. Okay, say NO to CARELESSNESS. Well, if only my mind would be submissive to such order and not be vehemently perverse.

O, Allah s.w.t, my Beloved, please don’t let my result to plummet incredibly because of my stupidity and carelessness. Only You could help me as You have the power over all things. Amin

That’s all for today. Please pray for my success. Only one paper left to suffer, I mean to go. Assalamualaikum and take care.

The final exam is looming..Be afraid..Be very afraid

If you look through the glasses of your imagination (if you have one) you would see there is a big thick spider web adorning my blog. I was truly busy lucubrating for the past long nights completing my assignments and preparing for my presentations’ and syukuralhamdulillah, the inferno of gruelling weeks at last have dissipated despite my horrendous outcomes especially presentations (yes, I’m inept at presenting). However, its end does not denote my endless rapture as the final exam is looming.

I tend to get flustered when it comes to answering exams as well as presenting. Well I have an anxiety problem which I fail to manage. That is why I always end up with a big “L” word (LOSER) scribbled on my forehead after answering my exams as well as presenting. Please pray for my success.

By the way, I could not blather, I mean write longer than usual (plus long-windedly) as I have a deluge of work to settle (well, like you care). By the way, I don’t have time to wade through my posts correcting my grammar. Being an editor is quit taxing, don’t you think so? That is why I prefer to be a writer rather than an editor so I could write callously without taking a heed of the flagrant grammar mistakes. Okay, I would get chided by my lecturers if they read this. They always advise us countless times to be more vigilant in our writings and not to commit blatant grammatical mistakes as we are the bachelor of English students.

Well sometimes I have the intention to masquerade myself to be other courses’ students because of one simple and obvious reason:-I have a penchant for breaking the rule. Well rules are meant to be broken, right? Wrong. You will get reprimanded and face your own comeuppance. Another reason why I don’t feign is because I do not want to be called a traitor and ostracized by my course mates.

By the way, this week is our last class. Aww..I’m going to miss all the classes especially Discourse subject. I love that subject because it deals mostly about writing. Well, I love writing. Writing is like eating Chocolate Indulgence cake from Secret Recipe. Okay, let me unravel my queer symbolism, it means enjoyable. I relish writing despite my aimless rambling as I feel more comfortable to express through this medium. (Note: Repetition of the word “writing” depicts my vehement fondness for it.)

I learn a lot how to produce an eloquent and potent writing discourse and etcetera. Thank you, Dr Haja. Actually, besides my dream profession of becoming lecturer (despite I don’t have the qualification), I want to be a columnist— a jocular and with the style of my own, columnist.

Well, only if there are newspapers or magazines willing to accept a writer who likes to drone on about food and has a peculiar incomprehensible symbolism. There are actually. It only happens in my dream. Well, that is my rambling for today.

Before I go and sleep like a roaring formula one car’s engine, I want to convey my deep condolence to my Error subject lecturer, Dr.Nora as her beloved mother has “returned” to Allah s.w.t . Al-Fatihah. May Allah s.w.t bless her mother’s soul.

Well, how about us? When will we ride the “carriage of death”? When would be our turn to return to Allah s.w.t? Be prepared. The angel of death will greet us arbitrarily. Assalamualaikum .

(Note:Actually this was meant to be posted last night but due to the irksome low connectivity, the activity was impeded.)

Happy Eid Mubarak..Selamat Hari Raya

Me, seeking forgiveness (Yeah, right) from my annoying beloved sister

*Holding an imaginary microphone* Testing..one..two..three. Ehem. Assalamualaikum. Happy Eid Mubarak to all my fellow Muslims and enjoy “planting” fats (actually I’m the one who’s blithely doing that).

My mouth is out of control—could not stop eating every second, every minute and every hour. No, seriously. I am being Ms. Gluttony.

By the way right now, I am having delusion. Not because I am stoned but I am gorging on too much of saccharine stuff—especially Kek Lapis Sarawak(Sarawak’s traditional cake which is a MUST during Eid Mubarak celebration, a surfeit of Hari Raya assorted biscuits, a colossal amount of chicken and the like. Oh, boy. I am absolutely bloated. Not just that, I am also having a hallucination because of the excessive amount of sugar that I consumed. What do I see right now? I see the image of chicken, dancing while Kek Lapis Sarawak and assorted Hari Raya biscuits are moving in a circular pattern around my head.

However, an immense amount of food consumption could not impede my grief. This year, for the first time, we celebrated Hari Raya (Eid Mubarak celebration) without my beloved grandmother as she has returned to Him, Allah s.w.t. May Allah s.w.t bless her soul. Remember. “Death” would greet us arbitrarily. Don’t let Hari Raya celebration drags you into the oblivion of your duty as a Muslim. Don’t forget Allah s.w.t.

As I said for the umpteenth times, you never know when your time is for “departure”—leaving this world for good. World is an ephemeral place of pleasure. And please imprint those words in your mind, my beloved fellow Muslims. That is all for today as I am absolutely knackered because of eating without a respite. Assalamualaikum. And once again happy Eid Mubarak and let us pray to Allah s.w.t, Ar-Rahman, Ar-Rahim, hope we could meet again the next Ramadhan. Assalamualaikum.

My beloved family

Miss greenish.Yes, green is our theme(my family) for this year Hari Raya

Cute lil cousin, Miza embarked on the journey of collecting "green angpau"..(okay including me too lol..kacheeng)

With my cuzzies wuzzies duzzies hazzies..

And my annoying beloved younger brother who took his picture illicitly..(He supposed to take my picture)

Ten guidelines from Allah s.w.t

When I read this poignant article, my heart is laden with tears. Not the tears of sadness but my heart is immensely touched. How could I not fall in love greatly with Allah s.w.t despite my countless flaws?Read this.May Allah s.w.t bless the person who wrote this article.

TEN GUIDELINES FROM ALLAH[The love letter from Allah s.w.t for us] (Taken from:http://www.muftisays.com/blog/Mahd-ul-Huda/89_12-02-2009/ten-guidelines-from-allah.html)

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Alternatively, do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I cannot help you until you turn it over to Me. Moreover, although My to-do-list is long, I am after all... God. I can take care of anything you put into My hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take care of many things for you that you never even realize.

3. TRUST ME:
Once you have given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on My list. Problem with finances? Put it on My list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? Put it on My list. I want to help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Do not wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now; I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It is simple. You gave Me your burdens and I am taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with Me and forget about them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget many things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I am in control. Nevertheless, there is one thing I pray you never forget. Please, do not forget to talk to Me - OFTEN! I love YOU! I want to hear your voice. I want you to include Me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with Me. I want to be your dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:
I see many things from up here that you cannot see from where you are. Have faith in Me that I know what I am doing. Trust Me; you would not want the view from My eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me. Although I have a much bigger task than you do, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are less fortunate than you are. Share your joy with those who need encouragement. Share your laughter with those who have not heard any in such a long time. Share your tears with those who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime you could have so many diverse experiences. You grow from a child to an adult, have children, change jobs many times, learn many trades, travel to so many places, meet thousands of people, and experience so much. How can you be so impatient then when it takes Me a little longer than you expect to handle something on My to-do-list? Trust in My timing, for My timing is perfect. Just because I created the entire universe in only six days, everyone thinks I should always rush, rush, and rush.

9. BE KIND:
Be kind to others, for I love them just as much as I love you. They may not dress like you, or talk like you, or live the same way you do, but I still love you all. Please try to get along. I created each of you different in some way. It would be too boring if you were all identical. Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not love yourself? I created you for one reason only -- to be loved, and to love in return. I am a ALLAH of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. Also, love yourself. It makes My heart ache when I see you so angry with yourself when things go wrong. You are very precious to me.
Do not ever forget...

A thing that exudes insanity in one's mind..

“I must look like a fool sometimes,

Have you ever been in love?

So in love you would do anything?

You find yourself doing things you can’t believe,

But if it gives you a chance,

The tiniest chance then it’s worth it,

Even if the whole world thinks you’re a complete fool”

(From My First Wedding movie)

Despite a plethora of works (oh my god, I haven’t yet begun because of the insidious laziness and idea blockage), I watched My First Wedding movie last night. Well, the last time I watched a movie was million years ago. By the way, I don’t fancy “My First Wedding” movie except for the words and the dashing and utterly handsome actor that made my heart froze.

I totally agree with his statement—the dialogue which I quoted above. They are absolutely, completely and crazily true. When we fall in love, no matter how badly we deny it, we would find ourselves, doing illogical and ludicrous things—no matter how arrant fool we would be.

Argh. Heart—the hardest thing to govern. No matter how good you are in inveigling people and twisting the truth, you could never deceive your own heart.

Nevertheless, like I said countless times, don’t be confused with “selfish love” and “true love”. Ah let the repetition begins:

Selfish love is when you love that person because of their beauty,obsession and etc . In addition, you would do anything in order to possess them, including—abducting that person, stowing away that person in the treasure chest or worst—beguiling that person with love potion. If you find yourself, doing such vile things,it is clearly showed that you don’t love them but yourself. You want to have him or her without thinking about their sentiment. Would he or she be happy if you succeed to steal their heart in the filthy and nefarious way?

Selfish love is also when you only care about yourself and not the person who you love dearly. You would callously comment about that person’s physical attribute and the like. In other words, you want that person to be a fat hypocrite—you urge that person to be someone they are not in order to appease your insatiable needs. (Wanting a model, beautiful and puurrrrfect girl or guy.) Moreover, you would curve a smile, laugh menacingly while saying “You deserve it” when you see the person whom you love suffer.

However, true love is when you would try your best to make that person happy sincerely. You want them to be happy as their happiness would lead to yours. Furthermore, you would try your very best in order to protect that person and always pray for his or her happiness. If doesn’t mean you must kidnap, I mean have that person. The salient part is, to see the perpetual smile on that person’s face. That is what true and everlasting love all about.

Sometimes, you find yourself do foolish and deviant things (not vile or despicable ones) in order to see their everlasting smile. Even though you see the person who you truly love with someone else, you would be happy despite the tinge of sadness. As long as that person is delirious with joy albeit not with you, you would still be happy for them. Yes, that is a pure and true love. The love that would last forever..

That is all. Assalamualaikum.

The crazy hormone..

I am currently fatigue and worn-out. Ah yes. My hormone is still acting oddly, frantically and out of control.

To make matters worse, I could not pacify its boisterous act. You know what would happen if you could not tame your wild and vigorous hormone, right? The volcano inside you would easily get erupted. Culprits who kindled it will surely get their comeuppance—the attack of incredible hulk, the "Mr.Hyde" part of us.

I do not know why those culprits fond of gauging my vulnerable patience. This current moment is indeed a bad, bad time to do so. Every time when I ask nicely and immensely polite (not exaggerating), people tend to reply in unruly and curt manner which of course would trigger a great explosion inside me. From the miss goody-goody, I would transform into a great,ferocious incredible hulk.

It would be that person’s worst nightmare RAWWR..My soft and demure disposition would evolve into unruly and aggressive Voldemort (the antagonist; the villain in Harry Potter..Don’t tell me you don’t know who’s Harry Potter. He is a type of food. Yummy. Haha. No, I’m not a paedophile, by the way)

Moreover, my innocent, angelic face would distort into the hideous creature as the rage has burnt every ounce of it. Again, I do not know why people like to peeve me especially at the time when my unbridled hormone is not at the rational state. 3 things that have irked me greatly:

1^st

a) Someone has ruthlessly proclaimed about the practice of cannibalism in Sabah and Sarawak which has never been done throughout our lifetime. There is no such thing is cannibal in Sarawak except for head-hunters (but that was million years ago and such group is no longer existed. If they did, I would ask them to hunt for that person’s head).

Since I am taking Pragmatics, I could analyze the underlying message (including making presupposition) that I am somewhat a cannibal since I’m from Sarawak. My roommate (that's also happened to be my classmate) guffawed and hitherto could not stop teasing me by calling me “cannibal”. If I were a cannibal, that person as well as my roommate would be the earliest victim.

b) My growing, developing place was called “the middle jungle” by someone. Seriously, I wish I could scoff down that person for my iftar(breaking fast). Okay, it is a joke. Don’t get the wrong idea. I am NOT a cannibal for now.Well you could say that I’m very patriotic person as I love my birthplace (Sarawak) unconditionally. If someone makes fun of it, *brandishing kitchen knife*you know what it means right? A great dish for iftar..

(PS:For those who might feel hurt or anything this is just a joke. I would never make anyone as my dinner as I'm perfectly normal human being. I'm just venting my dissatisfaction. Remember this is my blog;the place where my pent-up emotions free to roam..)

2^nd

When I wanted to buy nuggets at one stall at UIA’s bazaar( my university’s place), I asked in the nicest tone about wanting to buy 6 pieces nuggets, I thought 3 pieces cost rm 1. However, I was wrong as the annoying seller corrected me that it was rm1.20 in a terse manner. Duh, it's only the addition of 20 cent.

Nonetheless, unable to comprehend her message, I asked her to repeat. She repeated in rowdy and rude way which indeed had provoked my wrath. Once again, I displayed my incredible hulk’s face while saying loudly to my friend intentionally in front of her of how greatly I despised rude people. Suddenly, her voice changed into the soft tone when she dealt with my friend

Her sudden change of attitude has flummoxed my friend greatly as well as me.Honestly, I'm not that type of person but when it comes to getting a rude reply,I would transform into "Hyde" especially when my hormone has gone berserk.

3^rd

And number 3. About the annoying softie steward who refused to put my stuff nearer to me. Consequently, it had lead difficulty for me to get my stuff—that culprit put my stuff quite far. Just imagine, I had to wade through the wave of people. Argh I incredibly hate him. I felt like I wanted to hurl that heavy stuff at him and feign it was all an accident.

Okay that is all. By the way I’ve returned back in one piece to my beloved hometown, Miri Sarawak along with a plethora of assignments..

Ps: Something has curved a beatific smile on my face albeit a few common words expression.. However, that few words could be invaluable and would make someone to relish the infinite happiness.. :)

Happy Ramadhan Kareem :)

Happy Ramadhan Mubarak and may Allah s.w.t bless all of you. I hope I’m not too late for saying it as for the past few weeks, I was overwhelmed with a plethora of works. At last, this very weekend, I could exhale the air of freedom but unfortunately for a fleeting period of time. Tomorrow, the dawn of hectic schedule will rise. The ruthless works would never meet their end till I fling highly "the square" hat. By the way, I’m having a writer’s block. I could not spew out ideas of what should I blather, I mean write on for my Discourse’s assignment. I luuurve to write but simultaneously, the blockage of idea would constantly beleaguers me. No matter how hard I knock my head on the wall, the ideas could not be spawned. No, I don’t mean it literally or else I would end up with memory loss. I am really scared that my writing would be long-winded rubbish for nothing. I am really good in rambling on aimless stuff but not for educational purposes. It would be a sheer miracle if I manage to do so.

Okay, moving on. Actually, I have ample gossips, I mean stories— to share. However, I do not have the vehement mood to propel me in updating the blog. By the way, my mood is once again in the unstable condition. I nearly transformed into an incredible hulk yesterday when I went out to break my fast with my friends at KFC, Wangsa Maju. Why? The culprit is the annoying cashier. Well, that is not so me.Could not you see an incandescent halo above my head?(Yeah right)

I was on the edge to throw my tantrum when the annoying cashier gave me two small pieces of chicken. It is unfair! Many people received an enormous juicy chicken except me. Was he telling that I am extremely fat and should only consume small-sized chicken? Okay, I am aware that I have a big bone in line with the stout physical attribute but he doesn’t have the right to give me small-sized chicken! Okay, I know he did have the right to pick whatever chicken he desired for the customer but still, not fair!

Oh yeah, I am taking Pragmatics by the way—the study of what is communicated more than it is said. I innately analyzed the message what the speaker conveyed. I guess, I was driven by my incoherent hormone. I may be an introvert person, easily stepped like grass and
not the person who is easily angered and the like. I don’t have a valour to hurl caustic remarks or pointy words at people by the way (I’m also very careful in choosing my word)—but when my hormone is at the vigour state of madness, ah you should be very, very afraid. Don’t get on my nerves during my stormy mood. I don’t want to end up biting your head off as I’m not a belligerent type of person. I know I may turn into lioness when my hormone has gone berserk, (like my sister haha) but I would only hunt my prey if they themselves succumb into my lair. In other words, kindling my rage.

I guess that’s all for today. By the way I am going back on this coming Friday. Woo-hoo. That’s all and assalamualaikum.And once again, Happy Ramadhan Kareem and may Allah s.w.t bless you. :)

What is "beautiful?"

What "beautiful" is all about? A thick mascara saturating the eyelashes or a gaudy red lipstick on the lips? Or perhaps to cover one’s face with the facial white powder like a phantom? (Those are for girls obviously)

How do you perceive beauty? Do we have to be a beauty-fool in order to be stunning? I will surely knock the guy's head with my heavy (no, I’m not joking) polka-dot backpack who sees beauty through the girl’s appearance; her alabaster complexion, natural pink lips, the lustrous big eyes, slender and slim body. I truly and absolutely despise guys who quickly fall in love with the girl’s outer beauty. Bear in mind, girls—that kind of love will also quickly wither and rot like a skinless apple.

My counselling’s lecturer enumerated what type of girls that the guys ogle, I mean like. He told us the story about how his wife’s friend kept badgering him into telling her. Then he shared what he replied and started listing on the whiteboard.(well,not so white actually):

1) Fair (my jaw and the rest (all the girls, of course) drop on the floor and the big word “what?” simultaneously written in our eyes.

2)Tall

3) Sexy (okay, that’s TOO much)

And then he continued, “If you have these qualities, you would easily get a guy.”

Before he received a barrage of angry complaints (greatly from me and the female students obviously), he quickly said, “BUT, if you have this kind of guy as a husband, you will also get divorced easily.”

That explained everything. He nearly gave me a massive heart attack and that would also intensify my hatred towards most guys. And he elucidated more, “That is the bad guy!”

We all nodded robustly. He then exemplified through the story of his wife while gesticulating vigorously. There was one day when his wife wore a beautiful dress and her face covered with makeup just to entice him. She asked him “Am I beautiful?”

He looked at her and replied nonchalantly, “No.”

And again with the act of dropping jaws and a big “what?” on our faces.

“If I married with Erra Fazira (a Malaysian actor) or a beauty queen, I will give the same answer.”

[ Short note: I’m using the neutral term, "actor" to avoid sexist language by the way. Yes, “actor” is used for both genders.]

And then he curved a smile, " The beauty is exuded when my wife greets me, ‘hello dear’ every time when she wakes up in the morning with her dishevelled look and when she greets me in a soft and soothing tone, ‘welcome back dear’ and asks me if I want a glass of water. That is beautiful. The beauty that would last forever. And remember, just be yourself!”

I was touched and greatly astounded. My tears were almost trickled. Thank god that kind of guy still exists. I thought it was a myth. Yes, I totally agree!The outer beauty is transient. The beauty that will last forever,on the other hand,when you see everything about that person is beautiful.(including the flaws) Just be yourself, people. A piece of advice for girls: do not squander your money on trivial stuff in order to be beautiful to allure guys. The chance to get the wolf type is really high. It is better to donate your money to the needy ones.

Moreover, Allah s.w.t loves those who fond of donating. Remember, just be yourself! Do not be intimidated by loneliness. Allah s.w.t is always there for us. Sykuralhamdulillah, although I do not have anyone currently (I want a soul mate, a husband not just in the world but also in the hereafter :) ), I am happier than before. Allah s.w.t is always being there for me especially when my world turns gray.

"O humanity! There has come to you a direction from your Lord and a cure for all [the ills] in men’s hearts - and for those who believe, a Guidance and a Mercy" (Quran 10:57).

Human tends to forget and oblivious of Allah s.w.t presence.

"And your Lord says: ‘Call on Me; I will answer your (prayer)…" (Quran 40:60)

Hence, put all your trust in Allah s.w.t as. He is the most powerful and merciful one. That is all for today. I’ve to get back to work. Assalamualaikum and take care.

"When you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah" (Quran 3: 159).

Unbridled hormone

My unbridled hormone has gone berserk. Right now, I feel like I want to hurl my laptop at people. Any volunteers? I really hate it, extremely PEEVED when I am beleaguered by this kind of incoherent and ill-feeling; I could not think rationally, my heart is spewing out the inscrutable and unfathomable rage. I feel like I want to throw my laptop at you at this very moment. Nah. I would not. I love my laptop albeit its cap lock’s button was detached from its place. Probably you might be wondering how I got my cap lock’s button to deviate from its place. I am going to tell you anyway even though your head isn’t nodding.

The culprit is: the book. Okay, it was my fault as I did not arrange it properly on my rack. It had flung with a sudden, as if it was a winged thing—down, down onto my motionless laptop’s keyboard. What I heard was a loud thud, followed by my endless shriek of horror. I still love it despite its dilapidated look. Okay. I think I’ve to stop now before I hurl you any lethal stuff. Oh come on, I would not even hurt a fly. (I just spray it with aerosol spray). That is all. I’ve to get back to work as there is a deluge of works and also 2 midterms next week. Oh, great. I am “overjoyed”. That is all. Assalamualaikum.